Issa West

My mother called tonight wanting to know where she could download The Cupid Shuffle for free. While googling the song, I caught The One Eyed Granny. Wow. What won't you people put on YouTube?



Anyway, explaining the different ways to get stuff for free online made me want to weep. It'd probably take less time for me to order the CD from Amazon and mail it to her than it would for her to figure out www.bittorrent.com. She's pretty adamant about not paying for the music, which...come on. She should shell out the .99 to iTunes for the song if she likes it so much. It isn't as if she's broke.

And that, my friends, is my illegal activity for tonight. Hope your evening is more interesting than mine.

I know, I know...you're asking yourself: Who is Issa West? What does she do? Where does she come from? Why is she so amazing? When will the grainy photos of her posing nude on top of your mother's breakfast bar be ready to pick up at the Wal-Mart Photo-Center?

These are the questions that keep American, nay, The World awake at night. It isn't as if I'm going to spill my guts right here, right now. I'm a mystery. Wrapped in an enigma. Stuffed with a pimento and garnished with celery.

And now I want a Bloody Mary.